2009

here it comes......a new year...my list of what i would like to do this year or have happen is growing every day.....you are going to see it no matter what so you may as well look at it now....

• would like to free all my loved ones from the burden of worrying about my health and hope it becomes a non issue before to long.....


• would like to see less of the inside of doctors offices and more of the outside world


• would like to see at least three allmans shows at the beacon this year


• excited that chris is graduating college this year


• wish only the best of luck and the best of times to all my family and friends


• turning 55 in February and always wanted to be as old as the speed limit


• according to social security I can retire in 10 years...


• may actually join ARRP just to get the discount card


• go to the gym with the membership I just purchased


• try to remember the fact that this is all just temporary so make the best of it


• volunteer more of my time to the people in need..and less to the people who don't


• get my open water diving certificate that i almost got before the big C came back


• for the next 12 months (and beyond) have no one i know get the news that cancer has invade their body.............


• have the mets or jets win it all


• finally..........continue to live.....love and laugh until it hurts......and then laugh some more......

tom

2008

CAN YOU BELIEVE IT ....2009 ALMOST HERE

22 days and counting.....it has been quite an interesting one......some things predictable (met's choking....Democrats winning big......brent farve throwing interceptions) some things not so.......(cancer coming back.......britney coming back...madonna not going away.......economy crashing.......Yankees missing the playoffs)....but i have to tell you there is something about a clean slate that has a nice ring to it......hey who knows what 2009 will bring........ i can only wish it brings all of you peace....good health ........stable economic situations and a boat load of love....that's right a boatload and that's a big boat ..not that little dingy that is tied to the side.... i mean a big ocean liner type with 50 life rafts on it to help with every situation that comes up....plenty of life jackets on board to keep you floating in rough times and above all i am wishing the world some sort of peace.....so protect what is yours.....help the less fortunate...do not stop having hope that as all good things have a life cycle so does all the bad .....the circle of life in in full swing....get on....gonna be a heck of a ride

NEXT CT SCAN JAN 6TH.......UMMMM WHAT SHALL I WEAR

tom....

SNOW FLAKES

well I was a little surprised by the white stuff on the ground this morning ..pleasant surprise naturally...layla the one year old puppy full of energy and joy could not wait to run through the snow...beyond cute as you could only imagine...maggie the veteran made a quick turn-around to the warmth of the house....had to pick the old gal up and bring her out ....somewhat successful operation at best.....still marvel that no two snowflakes are alike....similar to people and the way we handle stress and adversity in our lives......i mean with everything that is being said in newspapers and tv about the state of the world and the economy it just goes to show what i have been saying all along ...we forget that we should not be defined by how much money we owe...how many toys we have.....how great is our credit rating .....but who we are and the impact we make on this world......i do not know about any of you but the human race seems to be getting a little ornery to deal with ..nobody is smiling ( even the ones that have jobs).....there seems to be love lacking in the world......ok here is a holiday challenge for all.... make an effort to spread some joy.....smile upon the less fortunate.....make your mark on this planet...be remembered as someone who rose to the occasion and made a difference.....REMEMBER THERE WILL ALWAYS BE SOMEONE WHO IS LESS FORTUNATE THAT YOU ......so in the words of CHER.."SNAP OUT OF IT" better times are coming...................................

count-down to 2009 has begun....

tom

WEEK OF THANKS

thank you for supporting this man's fight

thank you for the love you send my way

thank you for the three years of following my journey

thank you for the laughter

thank you for the tears

thank you for the calm before the storms

thank you for the encouragement you have shown

thank you for the doctors and the nurses from Sloane

thank you for the hope that you give

thank you for your friendships

thank you for your shoulders

but most of all thank you for being in my life......

Happy Thanksgiving to all ................Tom

RIGHT AS RAIN...for u paulie

i always wondered where that saying came from my buddy john looked it up but i still am confused about it..but my doctor told me that after my last round of chemo and my body started aching like i was hit by a truck without the truck...body slammed to the pavement without the pavement or the slam itself.....played a game of tackle football only no ball ...no tackle..you get the picture..worst case of migratory joint pain they have ever seen...my luck...i mean it hurts to even think about it ..but he said in a few days i will be "right as rain"....yeah right do not see the end in sight yet.....what a way to end my chemo..with the body ache of the century....slowly i am coming around......

was strong enough to vote and very excited about it ..i mean 8 years of this way had to be enough..either way "change is good" and my the better man win this time without any hanging chads....or other improper shanagins......

ok back to the cancer part of the story...looks like it shrunk down to a very small cel..one that we will keep both eyes on .......i think it dead......i will make sure it's dead before the next c/t scan.....

tom..

STAND UP TO CANCER

Well i did just that ........stood up and spit in it's eye (i know i am jumping the gun a little) but hey if my ct scans show any sign of it in my body ...well we will just have none of that .....i won fair and square....no do overs....you lost ...i won ...enough said.......

had the pure joy of going to see my aunt Connie last night ...97 years old...97...such joy in those eyes when she saw me.......97 years old..wonder what i will be doing at that time.....hopefully still rocking on my guitar....singing songs about love and changing the world......watching my mets blow another big lead.....playing with my dog on a wrap around porch....loved ones all around....97...let see that will be the year 2051...wow.....not to far fetched....imagine that ...2051......has a nice ring to it ..yep that is my new goal in life to live to that year........who's in with me...i tell you what...... party on my porch date feb 20th year 2051 place....my porch......( has to be warm it's the middle of winter).......bring a blanket just in case ( or vodka)

rsvp....asap....no presents.......just you .........

tom

round 5..and in this corner......

ALI

chemo round 5 starts tomorrow....it really feels like a boxing match....chemo in one corner and all of us in the other...now we know who is going to win this round......... team cheffo and friends with a knockout punch in the 5th round.....bruised and battered but still standing never even knocked me off my feet (ok i lied some nights were a little rough) but hey do not let chemo know that ...you can never give in..always keep the gloves up...deflect most of the blow and not take a direct hit was my motto.......i will keep u posted about results and upcoming plans to monitor the journey......I will be on QVC this Wednesday night (oct 15) "shoes on sale" our company (Yaleet..Naot) and many others will donate all the proceeds of sales that evening to breast cancer research ( ladies.....all shoes 1/2 price)...i will be the spokesperson for a brief while talking about cancer research and what it means.........over 1,000,000 people watching ..you know i will get the message out.....hope my bald head does not reflect to much into the camera......i might have that chemo glow because my last teatment is scheduled for that morning ..ironic?....nah just part of the plan.....peace ......tom

CHOCOLATE OR VANILLA

when i went to pick up ice cream the other day i was amazed by how many flavors there were...i mean i remember just two choices growing up...Chocolate or Vanilla.....and make no mistake about it you were either a chocolate lover or vanilla lover ....no in between....i myself was a chocolate kinda guy.....now i find myself eating a cherry garcia that has everything but the kitchen sink in it....i do remember the simpler times.....times when it was a or b ...not all the way to z.....times when the most important decisions of the day was how long could i stay outside while playing ball with my buddies....times when a slice and a coke was just that and the slice did not have meat hanging off of it...don't get me wrong i think we live in a fantastic time...overkill galore...it is just that it is fun to think of the early years and see how far we have come.....i do have to admit i am partial these days to a chocolate and vanilla swirl cone and don't tell anyone it was frozen yogurt..................................told to lay low a little BY MY DOCTOR THIS WEEKEND and stay away from people with the sniffles......white counts are pretty low and you need those puppies to fight infection..............good thing got a good supply of rocky road........peace tom
draft

"the love you take is equal to the love you make"

i was thinking about this great line from the beatles and thought well if this is a balance you look for in life then that is not to bad....if you can give out a certain amount of love to people and get back the same amount then i guess that's pretty good....but what if you gave out more love than you received in return.....well then that is pretty good also...so I am determined to give out more love this week than i expect in return (which in my case is not possible.... because everywhere i go people have been ...wonderful to me)... to see if i can turn this sour taste of the economy,the housing industry, the war, the mets,the illness, the bad drivers, the telemarketers, the voice mails, the poor service, the mets (did i mention them already), the people who refuse to hold open a door for you , plastic bags, pepsi, anything that has diet on it, richard simmons, OJ,global warming and the mets..( ok we still have a shot)...we can pay it forward..tighten our belts and plow on .......plow on .......because if you do not plow the fields..nothing grows.....and isn't life just like that....so here to all of u who still read me .....I LOVE YOU...........twice as much as you think.....

those who see me daily know that this was a tough week and the chemo is accumulating in my body and is pulling me in a direction i am not used to .....however i will pull out of it and only have one set of treatment left......yahooooooooo....i will keep you posted ....leukemia fund raise huge success..over $6,000 raised ...love you all .......tom

The Hope.....

got this title "the hope" from one on my dearest friends, paul cartwright..seems like his young daughter tess has one of top fantasy baseball teams in the country...out of 75,000 teams she is in the top 4...now that is pretty amazing ......

also what is pretty amazing is the results of my last ct/scan ...seem like this crap i am putting in ,my body is working and the spots on my lungs are disappearing....looks like two more treatments and i will be off the sauce....so (six more fun filled times in the chair)...kinda getting used to being totally bald and will be sad to see my shinny head go ...yeah right ,,,,,

so here is to "the hope" in the world.......smile..love ..live

tom

TREAT-MINTS

my brother dom thought it was funny that the word treat is in what i am going through ..i can tell you that it is anything but that ........i mean where is the treat part....maybe they should put some beer in my IV during the session..now that would be a treat...well- round three is finished and "I'm still standing"....it tried to knock me down but missed the knock-out punch this time around......it is amazing what the human body can put up with when your a stubborn Italian from brooklyn.......63rd st between 17-18th ave..1756-63rd street......roots of where i began......and 54 years later still missing that front stoop in brooklyn with every passing day........this battle is going to come out victorious and I will stand the test of these times not allowing my will or determination to falter for more than a brief moment during my day.... if i ever feel that the walk is getting to long i have to remember to put my feet up sometimes and just enjoy the moment that i am in and remember that all of you would be more than happy to finish this walk for me.......i am now going to take the advice from my dearest friend and put those feet up and rest for three days.......happy holiday ......Tom....

WITH A LITTLE HELP FROM MY FRIENDS

well i pulled it off ...record breaking trade shows in terms of sales and activity.....and i could not have done it without the support of all those i come in contact with....it is like you all lifted me up and carried me on your shoulders when i was dragging (although most of you felt i was carrying you sometimes)...it was not uncommon to hear someone start complaining about something in life only to stop in mid sentence and look at me and suddenly stop and say ."compared to what you are going through my problem seems so small"...however i make it clear that one thing has nothing to do with the other and problems are problems and sometimes people need to vent....i have always felt that this journey is such an amazing adventure...full of hardships and highships (is this even a word)?...and i swear to all that i am the luckiest man alive when it comes to all the friendships i have made in this period on earth...but it kinda stinks now because most of you do not burden me with your problems and i miss out on all the juicy stuff in your life..........so please burden me ..bring it on ..let me be the judge if it is a big or small problem..that's part of the fun....

round three starts monday 8/25....till 8/27/.......ps totally bald is the way to go...freedom of the follicals.........save on shampoo.........

chemo-sabi......out

SALT LAKE CITY-trade show

blue skies...massive mountains......clean air.....bright sunshine......it could very well be the most beautiful city in the nation...happy to be in such a place

i am still in the grips of the "chemo" it is kinda funny how you look in the mirror in the morning and the person staring back looks like a complete stranger....it is amazing what a baseball cap can do to your appearance.........people are happy to see that i have not allowed the "inconvenience" to stop me from doing what i am doing......had to laugh the other day when i thought of a title fro a book on this journey....."Cancer"..the inconvenient illness........it is such a drain on your daily way of life.......however it is no longer a death sentence and i fully plan on kicking it's butt clear across this country...heading to Atlanta tomorrow.......keep you posted my friends the amount of people still following my journey is amazing ....thanks for the love and music..........tom..........

VIVA LAS VEGAS

well i did what i had to do and was able to maintain a certain about of dignity during the shoe show in vegas....i was able to keep up with the trade show pace and still have some time to play some music of my own after the day was done....my good buddy (brother ) kent and I was able to jam some tunes and that was one of the highlights of my trip.......you see it is not always about selling the worlds best sandals and shoes...it's about those moments during the day that makes dragging your body out of bed and facing the day head on ...it's that one moment that defines what separates just living from.....really being alive.....that one good belly laugh...that one good hug....that one good minute when everything is .....perfect in the world......that is all it takes ...when your body is fighting the fight it sure is good to know that so many people care about you and so many friends are truly there for you .......i am protected like the tree under the rainbow.....roots are strong....branches are reaching for the sky.........oh and by the way had a treatment yesterday.....not gonna lie to you ...it su..ks... and you feel like crap..however it means i am one step closer to the 1/2 way point.....monday and tuesday will end treatment two...yahoooo...then it's back on the road for this brooklyn cowboy.......

tom

MANY RIVERS TO CROSS

i always liked that saying..it has a special meaning to me these days....i always think about our ancestors on their journey through life and when they had to deal with hardships and problems how they managed to overcome them and hold their heads high...when they came to that river in their way how they managed to "cross" it and move on in life always amazes me......

the "rivers" we need to cross sometimes have a bridge that makes it easier for us to manage....however as was the case with our ancestors sometimes we have to figure out how to make it by building our own way across.......all of you and my family are my bridge across this river i am now wading through......i sometimes feel you pushing me across..stopping with me as i rest.....moving with me as the sight of the shore gets closer and closer.............i may be only 1/3 there however with so many people as my "bridge" you know i will make it ..

you know that i feel your hands on my back.....I know that my late ancestors are helping me along with the rest of you ...............................just wish they would lower the tolls a little........you see i forgot my e-z pass this round so i guess the lines will be a little longer than usual.....

in the meantime enjoy the day......smile upon the sun........tom

p.s thanks for the coments yesterday....truly was humbled by them

THE RIGHT STUFF

hello world....chemo foggy here and coming out of it little by little...trying to explain how one feels after a treatment is difficult because every person reacts differently and within a minute you can be feeling "normal" to feeling like crap in a flash........YOU TRY TO JUST PUT ONE STEP IN FRONT OF THE OTHER TO GET THROUGH THE DAY....maybe the blog should be called "one step at a time"...i pulled off going to work most of the time because heck those who know me know i do not like to take sick days especially when i would rather take days off when i am healthy....looks like i still plan on hitting the road July 25Th to a trade show in Vegas and that will be a monumental task at best ...........so here's to "The Right Stuff" in your life to get you through ..............thanks for the love ...........tom

HONORED

well like i said before ...life is full of wonderful moments and to see all my old school mates on my blog comments is just one of those moments..............it is like finding a pot of gold at the end of a rainbow... .... my journey of life is full of amazing days that the memories of those moments get me through these tougher time,...........

had two treatments already and the third is tomorrow..(wed)..............feeling ok although yesterday was a doosey.........my beautiful cousins (and i do mean beautiful) came all the way from NJ to sit with me during chemo .............their voices as i closed my eyes helped me relaxed as the chemo flowed through my veins on it's way to the spots in my lungs to seek and destroy them forever.............my dear cousins barbara and loraine........thank you so much for taking the time to see me as i travel to the cure.............i will cherish those moments forever......

with so many people are pulling and praying for me i wonder if it would be possible to save some prayers for my beloved mets....... (oh yeah say a few for sue too)

....

tom

HISTORY OF CHEMOTHERAPY

YOU DID NOT THINK THIS SITE WOULD BE ALL FUN AND GAMES.......NEED TO PUT SOME SCIENTIFIC INFORMATION in once in a while..........round one starts MOnday....looks like tues and wednesday is also on the bill ..will let you in on it as i go through it......

Chemotherapy, in its most general sense, refers to treatment of disease by chemicals that kill cells, specifically those of micro-organisms or cancer. In popular usage, it will usually refer to antineoplastic drugs used to treat cancer or the combination of these drugs into a standardized treatment regimen.The first drug used for cancer chemotherapy, however, dates back to the early 20th century, though it was not originally intended for that purpose. Mustard gas was used as a chemical warfare agent during World War I and was studied further during World War II. During a military operation in World War II, a group of people were accidentally exposed to mustard gas and were later found to have very low white blood cell counts[2]. It was reasoned that an agent that damaged the rapidly growing white blood cells might have a similar effect on cancer. Therefore, in the 1940s, several patients with advanced lymphomas (cancers of certain white blood cells) were given the drug by vein, rather than by breathing the irritating gas. Their improvement, although temporary, was remarkable.[3] [4] That experience led researchers to look for other substances that might have similar effects against cancer. As a result, many other drugs have been developed to treat cancer, and drug development since then has exploded into a multi-billion dollar industry. The targeted-therapy revolution has arrived, but the principles and limitations of chemotherapy discovered by the early researchers still apply. [5]

still awake?....oh well that concludes the educational part of the story.....tom

DRIVERS START YOUR ENGINES....

here we go again..there is nothing like a "metastatic urethral carcinoma" description showing up on your pathology report...couldn't be a " it's nothing or oops we made a mistake" but no mine has to be a positive test ...now i am a positive kinda guys (most of the time) but for once can't these tests be negative but noooooo......ok for those of you who need to get in the loop (if you do not want to be in the loop it is ok and it will not hurt my feelings)..those spots on my lungs that were showing up in my early ct scans started growing and after a needle biopsy ( i will fill you in on that in a later Blog) the cells turned out positive for cancer...( i am thinking of a new name for cancer..cancer is so negative)..maybe we should call it......lollipop or sunshine.... "hey i was tested positive for sunshine sounds better".....so chemo treatment starts soon......"put me in coach i'm ready to play"....i've survived much worse......so plan on this being anti climatic as compared to the "neo" moments.....they say the sequels are not as entertaining as the original....you can always go to the beginning and review the story....or wait for it to show up on the turner classic network.......either way enjoy the ride with me.....man if i lose my hair (ok no wise cracks)...that is gonna be a sight.......

tom......break-out the Tye dyed....i'm backkkkkkkkkkk

a day in a life

layla our new puppy

hello my cyber-world friends and family......well it still seems like this little part of my world has had an effect on some of you and you still enjoy reading me from time to time...well it was what kept me going in those darkest and brightest of times.....in some ways i am exactly the same person i was before the big c-entered and then was ripped from my body.....but in other ways i have changed a little........I cannot put my finger on it exactly yet and will spend the next few blogs and months trying to figure out exactly how I have changed...so if you have any ideas or observations on why i am different i am up for the listening......here is a list of things i still do like i always do.....1. still feel i give people respect (even if they do not deserve it) because after all they are clueless to that fact....2. still like a good laugh now and then...3. music and my mets are still apart of my life...4. when i look up at the sky at night i am still as amazed as when i was a little man....5. my close friends are closer than ever...5. i still pull the ball in softball....... 6.oh yeah I still play softball....well i will think of more as the summer goes on........here are some of the ways i have changed...1..food is more of a burden than a joy......2. well having a neo-bladder is ..different...3....after 2 beers i am full...4.seems like i am tired more than before....5.....let's be honest the people i say i give respect to and don't deserve it ..... well they are getting on my nerves more and more.......6. when i laugh....well it is hard to describe..it is not totally back yet where i can say where it was before....and that i am working on......expect more from me in the next few weeks

tom

REUNION

shallow jr high

just imagine not seeing some childhood friends for over 40 years and then meeting in a restaurant in NYC on a friday night.....well my brother and I did just that...it was everything i expected and more.......i mean 40 years is a long time.......and the one thing that remained the same with all of us was our eyes...that was the first thing i recognized we we started to feel each other out....all we had to go by were memories and old photos.....we meet about a dozen old mates and it was as if time stood still on us....it did not take long for the girls to huddle together and the guys to smile and hug..( yeah guys could hug to you know)....... when my dear friend michele started to laugh i remembered that laugh as if it was yesterday.......photos, year books, good food and drinks.....and old classmates..... priceless......it will go down in my book as a night to cherish ......although were were there to celebrate our 7th -9th grade class ( we skipped 8Th) and to figure out a way to launch an even bigger reunion.. to some of us it put a closure on the mystery as to how everyone was doing and for that I will be forever grateful that i made that trip.....

tommy

spring time for hippies

well looks like we made it through another winter...it seems like the older we get the colder it feels even with a snow less winter (at least in NY) i know some of you got walloped (cartwright).....i mean long-johns were part of my everyday routine.....ummm should i wear white or white?...anyway looking forward to putting those away and breaking out a pair of shorts...

I have another useless trivia for you ....it is the earliest Easter since i think 1909...and i wonder what that year was like..when i was young i always thought the Early 1900's were in black and white because that is the only photos i remember seeing.....

i wish you all the peace you can handle in your lives.......enjoy the coming warmth.....make your time on earth light the way for others.....Happy Easter and Happy Purim....

tom

daylight savings

you just gotta love the extra hour of light ....it does kinda throw you off a little ....hope all is well with all out there in cyber land...had a great phone call from an old friend from grade school and jr high...looks like we are trying to put together a Reunion of sorts and it is cool tracking down old friends...i volunteered to help and even located my best buddy from that era...we talked for over an hour just catching up ..it was about 20 years since we spoke and he is a grad pappa already......sure glad lois from that speciall group of friends gave me a call and excited to see who we are able to locate....oh yeah i did locate someone else from that crowd but my twin brother does not count since i see him all the time..hehehe

well health wise we are trucking along.....always in the back of our minds..but never seems to hold us back......enjoy the warming weather.......make your days spectacular.......

tc

CLEAN BILL

ok time to get on a soap box....i feel real lucky these days....my body is getting back that spark that i have been mis-firing on since the walk began.....i feel real lucky these days.............my brain is enjoying the new clarity it is feeling and sharing with the rest of my body...i feel real lucky these days.....i heard of some horror stories of my cancer left untreated and where i would have been if not for a piece of paper turning a different color.....that was the turning point.....a little dip and wham.......buckle up and hang on for the ride.... i feel real lucky to have all of you in my life.......bar none the biggest reason why people survive these life altering situations is the support and love they recieve....and for that reason alone...I am the luckiest man that has ever walked this earth.......

heading back out on the road tomorrow ..will check in soon.....

tom

THE ROAD IS CALLING

well after a quick trip to a trade show in orlando to get my feet wet ... i am hitting the road for about a week or so starting in atlanta tomorrow (sat 1/19)and then heading to Utah......the salt of the earth.......i have to tell you it is getting a wee bit rougher to be on the road...but i still love it ...in quoting dan fogelberg (whom we just lost.. sad day indeed)..."the audience is heavenly...but the traveling is hell"............ i love seeing my brothers and sister of the road.........i love the thrill of the trade show and i swear there is a TV show in this way of life....i have to pitch it someday ......what goes on at trade shows is like no other business on earth ...it is the closest thing to the markets of the olden days ....buying and selling ...making it or breaking it.......just look for me on the selling side...and oh by the way i will be the one doing all the talking ...well because that is what i do....
peace.............
tom